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Saturday, April 19, 2014

The Bionic Man

Our good friend, Bob, (and husband of BFF, Paulette) is a man of many talents. The most impressive of which is his talent for escaping death. We've heard of his exploits as a young man (blowing up dynamite found in a shed comes to mind) and driving his sports car, a Cobra, at insane speeds as a young buck. Then there were his years as a pilot of an Cobra attack helicopter in Vietnam, earning him medals for bravery, honor, and (crazy flying) while in his early 20's.  He escaped death on many missions, but, his most impressive escape was when he survived a massive heart attack at age 40. By then his rank was Colonel and he was on a fast track to being named a General. Detoured by his health, Bob, is a happy go lucky fellow and I have never, ever, seen him upset, angry, or even grumpy.

Recently retired, and packed with stents, and a defibrillator, Bob (at the instance of Paulette) embraced the vegan diet and lost more than 60 pounds.

His passions are golf and fly fishing, and recently, camping. Now to the story.  Last week, it was time to replace his defibrillator. And, it turns out, the leads. Which can be risky in someone of his age (ahem) and condition :)  Well, all went well at the Cleveland Clinic-number one hospital in the country, if not the world, for heart care. Paulie and I waited for him to be wheeled into the step-down unit, and there he was, waving his hand hello, looking better than I've seen him fixing breakfast around the campfire!

One week later, Bob, donned his new favorite fly fishing shirt (which Ron and I proudly gave him for his birthday last month) and instead of fishing, was busy running errands for Paulette-this, by the way, is Bob's full time job.

Before heading out for errands, they both heard their smoke detector beeping and Bob set out to change the batteries-in every room where he heard the beeping. Unable to complete the daunting task (it is a really big Victorian house) they both set out to do some shopping. The beeping continued in the car! Annoyed, Paulette commanded Bob (well, she thinks she is Bob's commander, now) to take out his hearing aids (of course, years in a attack helicopter can wreck havoc on your hearing) and the beeping continued unabated.  Paulette quickly deduced that it was Bob's chest that was beeping with a loud alarming sound! Calling the Clinic, they advised he return asap.

Six hours at the Clinic, with 10 doctors (including the head of the Device section) and the Medtronic  rep, they were stymied. Shirt on, shirt off, magnets waving, up and down the halls, they went. Finally, they concluded they would need to replace the device. That's about the time they took one last long look at the fishing shirt that Ron and I gave Bob................the one with a tiny magnet in one pocket to hold the fishing lures and other such. Yep, that one. No shirt, no beeping. Case closed, and once again, Bob is off to run errands for Paulette, sans fishing shirt!  Sorry Bob, that was one expensive shirt. And the best part of all, Bob wasn't even mad at us! Love you, Bob! Long may you live.